Willikins

Back again.

It's been a hectic time. Got teacher practice right now, and I really feel swamped with work. There are a lot of things to take care of, including the assignments from the university. But I take one thing at a time, focusing on managing through the lessons I need to hold. I'm doing good if I could say so myself, but there's obviously room for improvement. I think I really would do great if I would just get more time with classes and without the pressure of being observed by another teacher. Ah well, it will come with time.

I also feel...nostalgic. As always. Old times. But for perhaps the first time, I also feel as if I've matured quite a bit and that I'm in a good place right now. Well....good place might not be the word, but certainly interesting =P

It's as if I've only now discovered how teaching really works and am eager to graduate so I can do it on my own, without any pressure.
One thing that is a bit of concern is the different schools. I've experienced the more responsible and "disciplined" students of high school. Whatever I may decide to do is okay with them, they go with the flow. But how would I fare with younger students in primary school? Who are more prone to get distracted, talk with their fellow classmates when they should listen and simply just fool around way too much at times?


As always when I delve into deep thoughts....I think of her again. I almost want to delete that last sentence. It's been nearly 3 years now since I ever mentioned her in writing, even longer since I spoke her name. But no more than a month or two since I thought of her. HAH, I must be pretty pathetic. It's still not too unusual of me to think about her, except that I just wonder about how she's doing, more than I miss her or want to see her. I keep thinking if she's met someone, how she's feeling, is she happy?
So bittersweet. All I would have done for her. And I got so little back. I'm not angry, or bitter...I just hope to meet someone who would appreciate that, someone who would be prepared to give me half of that back. Half is more than enough, I'd be satisfied with that.

I have decided now that I want to forget her completely. And yet, as I write this, I know that it's probably impossible. See what you did to me? My love for you scarred me for life. I loved you so much that my heart couldn't bear it inside. And so it tattoed your name all over, that's why I loved you so much it hurt. And now it still beats with your name tattoed all over. And it can't forget.

I'm no psycho. I'm just an unlucky guy who met the love of his life way too early. And made the wrong choices. Choices that fate has deemed irrevocable.